Day 39 - Betrayal of A Kiss

Day 39 of my 40 Day Journey through LENT.
Its Friday, Good Friday. Schools are off, children are home, families are gathering preparations for the holiday weekend. In Dallas, its dark outside, windy and about to rain. What does this day mean to me? Its meant not eating meat at the school cafeteria, painting the Easter eggs, going to the “dark” service. Putting all that aside, this day is about the death of Jesus.
31Then Jesus told them, "This very night you will all fall away on account of me, for it is written: " 'I will strike the shepherd, and the sheep of the flock will be scattered, 32But after I have risen, I will go ahead of you into Galilee." 33Peter replied, "Even if all fall away on account of you, I never will." 34"I tell you the truth," Jesus answered, "this very night, before the rooster crows, you will disown me three times." 35But Peter declared, "Even if I have to die with you, I will never disown you." And all the other disciples said the same.
The irony of the story. The conviction of loyalty, commitment and friendship is quickly lost when the test comes. All of them left Jesus but only one betrayed Him. Judas.
43When he came back, he again found them sleeping, because their eyes were heavy. 44So he left them and went away once more and prayed the third time, saying the same thing.
45Then he returned to the disciples and said to them, "Are you still sleeping and resting? Look, the hour is near, and the Son of Man is betrayed into the hands of sinners. 46Rise, let us go! Here comes my betrayer!"
47While he was still speaking, Judas, one of the Twelve, arrived. With him was a large crowd armed with swords and clubs, sent from the chief priests and the elders of the people. 48Now the betrayer had arranged a signal with them: "The one I kiss is the man; arrest him." 49Going at once to Jesus, Judas said, "Greetings, Rabbi!" and kissed him.
50Jesus replied, "Friend, do what you came for."

I wish I could know what happened to him during the miracles and raising of Lazarus. Did he believe? What was he thinking? How could you see these kinds of miracles that only come from God and then turn around and betray Jesus for 30 pieces of silver? How about me? How about you? I have seen countless miracles, experienced the hand of God so vividly, I can’t deny His work but I do deny him. Why?

Self-betrayal. Self betrayal is denying what I know to be true for a lie. We feel guilty and then we betray God. Guilt is so damaging and we find any way to justify ourselves. The guilt drives us to blame Him or just ignore him. This happens in all relationships but with God, its very damaging to us. The Arbinger Institute calls this, “putting people in a box”.
The disciples struggled through this after running away . . then came the guilt. We see Peter who was so brave and yet so scared. He said, “I never knew this man”. In just a few hours Peter had justified his running and now was in a state of betrayal.

Maybe the reason you and I ignore or deny God is not that we don’t love Him, but that we feel guilty. Maybe we haven’t done a good inventory and taken our sins to the cross. That is the answer. Stop justifying yourself and blaming God. We are sinners. We sin. You and I need forgiveness. Lord, Forgive me. Crucify my sin. Death to my flesh. Alive unto God.