Day 20 Why Me God?

Day 20 Psalms 20, 50, 80, 110, 140
“Let’s Be Honest”
To be totally honest Lord, I have not wanted to meet with you the past few days, I have done it out of obligation. I have been so tired and distracted. I have done my devotions because I said I would, not because I long for you. Thank you for staying with me, for forgiving me, for changing my heart. I really need to seek you for love, but my love wanes. Psalm 20
2 May he send you help from the sanctuary and grant you support from Zion.
3 May he remember all your sacrifices and accept your burnt offerings.
4 May he give you the desire of your heart and make all your plans succeed.
Do I really trust you?
7 Some trust in chariots and some in horses, but we trust in the name of the LORD our God.
Psalm 80:19 Restore us, O LORD God Almighty; make your face shine upon us, that we may be saved.
Where does that come from, the phrase, “make your face shine upon us”. I remember it from Moses’ blessing. . .but I wonder what that meant to them. It reminds me of the shikanah glory, it reminds me of Moses’ face when he came down from the mountain. It signifies blessing and favor to me.
Somehow, my days have been filled with blessing. Though my upbringing was rough, my life since I trusted in Jesus in High School has been marked by blessing. That blessing includes being set apart for His service, not that I have not been filled with self, but that overall my life has been determined for Him. I know that its not me, I know that I have been saved from so many heartaches, tribulations and temptations. But why me? It isn’t random but it isn’t something in me. I am not luck but I am not good. Why me? Purely by grace. How can an immigrant, last born, son of an alcoholic, son a drug smuggler be chosen? How can a wicked, selfish, self-centered, ambitious, ego-centric, big headed, loose lipped, envious, smart mouth be chosen? My ancestors could not even imagine the blessings I have received. My wife is tops, there are none like her, she is so sharp, so noble, so caring, such a hard worker. Jen is the most gorgeous green-eyed brunette I had dreamed of. My children are the most amazing gifts, they are healthy, loving, sweet, very smart and love me, just like their mother. On top of that, I have been blessed with friends, a calling that is perfect for me and material things too.

12 I know that the LORD secures justice for the poor
and upholds the cause of the needy.
13 Surely the righteous will praise your name
and the upright will live before you.

Draw my heart back to you today!